Dr. McCain: What’s all that rootin’ tootin’ noise down there?
Igor Palin: Nuthin’.
Dr. McCain: I just heard an explosion and a scream of terror.
Igor Palin: Uhhhh.

(Just then, a giant monster comprised of the reanimated bodies of a million stinking
corpses bursts through the laboratory walls of the castle.)

Dr. McCain: My Monster! Its…..so murderous and huge! Have you been feeding it, Igor?
Igor Palin: I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Dr. McCain: Monster! Listen to me. Hearken unto me!

(Monster smashes down a forest screaming “these trees are arab” and “oaks are terrorists”)
Dr. McCain: That forest is an upstanding forest!
Igor Palin: (whispering to the Monster) Maple? I don’t know about that. I just can’t trust them.
Monster: Raaaaar!
Dr. McCain: Now, let’s raze this forest in a thoughtful way! We’ll put up an oil well or something! Nooooo!!

(Monster looks with disdain at its tiny master and then eats him.)

Igor Palin: Well, all the more room in the castle for me.

Epilogue: Igor and Monster settle down together in an apocalyptic wasteland of their making.

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