I think I did it again.
I felt my sphincter just heave
on my cute pussy friend.
Oh, baby;
It came out just like hot mush,
Like a choc’late cream
This is serious.
‘Cause to lose all my senses…
That is just so typically me.
Oh, baby; baby.

… I pooped on my cat.
my feline’s not safe at home.
Got most of the foam.
Oh, baby; baby.
… You thought I wouldn’t be crass.
I’ll have to give you a bath…
I’m not that innocent.

You see my problem is this:
I’m drinking away;
Washing down churros, I’m truly pissed.
I try waddling on by
Can’t you see my butt drool
all down the hallway?
ASPCA cites my pooping offenses…
When I drink I typically buttpee.
Baby, oh.

… I fecaled your fur.
I sprayed on your paws.
You won’t be the same.
Oh, baby; baby.
… You thought I could play it cool
That I had solid stool…
I’m not that innocent.

[Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah]

“Last Call!”
“Gnome, before you go, there’s something I’m probably going to do on you.”
“Oh, you’ve been drinking! I’d better be going, ooooh…isn’t this… ?”
“Yeah, yes, it is.”
“But I thought that you’d learned not to drink in just your boxers…”
“Well, kitty I like to be comfortable when I’m boozing and….oops now I’m pooping.”
“Aw, you shouldn’t have.”

Oops! I
Did it again on my pet.
Got more
than just carpet; oh, baby.
Oops! Now
I’m filled with regret…
I’m not that innocent.

… I pooped on my cat.
I’d drank too much Pabst.
You’re my sewer cat.
Oh, baby; baby.
… My colon gave me a shove.
I’ll clean you while wearing gloves…
I’m not that innocent.

… I did it again.
I sprayed on your coat.
I feel so much shame.
Oh, baby; baby.
… You looked like the rug.
I squatted above…
I’m not that innocent.