It has been literally almost thousands of years since God made the world and
over that time, we have not been taking very good care of it.  
Look around you at the way young people use Kleenex nowadays! Capriciously.
My grandmother could make a single sheet of Kleenex last four days in a gale force flu.

The world is changing around us.
Everyday another tree is chopped down. Most likely at the calloused hands of a calloused hearted lumberjack and his irradiated mutant blue ox.
Slowly and incrementally so as to not be noticed our rocks, once strong like the mighty oak, are becoming sand.
The Dodo has gone the way of the Dodo, chickens are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, and
Pandas are giving up celibacy for cheap and sordid thrills arranged by leering zookeepers.

There are so many selfish people out there adding to our environment’s pollution.
Exhaling carbon dioxide is near ubiquitous and many of our youth are beginning to use harmful single-use condoms which are fattening our landfills like lambs for the slaughter.

Me, I love the environment and I do what I can to help it. But it can be hard to understand some products’ confusing packaging and claims!
For example: I buy eggs from cage-free chickens. What exactly that means I’m not sure considering that iron maidens are not technically ‘cages’.
Even the lady from Silence of the Lambs who was kept in a well in Buffalo Bill’s basement wasn’t in a cage per se.
But its the thought that counts. Not that I think about it really. I just love omelets.
I even got rid of my nightlight. And not without personal risk, I might add.
Patrick Swayze ghost sightings have gone up 20%!

Someone once called our planet ‘Mother Earth’.
I don’t know about you, but I let my mother’s phone calls go to voice mail and I have to drink a lot
during Thanksgiving to make a convincing show that her garlic potatoes are palatable.
This is my mother I’m talking about! The woman who breastfed me.
And I still haven’t forgiven her for that.

‘Mother Earth’ is not the kind of marketing our planet needs right now.
Instead, I think we should call Earth ‘Biodome’–or a cool planet name like ‘Pandora’.

The question that we are left with is:
‘Can we slow down the destruction of our planet?’
And the answer is: 
‘Not really.’ 

I, however, am full of hope.
And I hope that my grandchildren like plagues and cannibalism.

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