This morning I was looking at pictures of incense I’d placed on my Gaia shrine
(because incense smoke is so pollutive)
and while in a trance I was visited by the Spirit of Earth Day Past.

I held onto his sleeve and he flew me to Earth Day 1972
where we watched the first time Travis Wells of Dayton Ohio overcame great trepidation
to try out his roommate’s suggestion of “if its yellow let it mellow”. It was not as exciting of an ecological victory as you might imagine.
He then whisked me to Earth Day 1990 when I was twelve
and I was able to watch myself save the Sears catalog’s undergarment section from being thrown into the landfill.
My mother later sent it to the landfill and sent me to counseling.
It was worth it, Earth!

I then met the Spirit of Earth Day Future and lemme tell you: good news is on the way! In the year 2830 most everyone’s forgotten that really embarrassing thing you did during your blind date with Matt.

During this vision, I had to come to terms with the way I’d treated Mother Nature over the course of my life.
To be honest, I don’t have a perfect record in my treatment of animals and the environment.
And the shame of it makes me break out in hip hop.   

I lambasted a lamb and basted a ham
a xenophobed a zebu until it got out of hand
gave a snake bite to a snake though it rattled and hissed
and ostracized and scarlet lettered an unmarried ostrich

Because I couldn’t tame it I eschewed the shrew
and never gave the honey bee its credit due
I harangued an orangutang and hounded a poodle
I overfed a German Shepherd hefeweisen and strudel

I shook my fist at a platypus
told a bison to blow me with animus
On Halo3 I owned a hippopatamus
You should watch it on YouTube, it was rediculous

But that was the old me. That was the Tatooine Luke. Now I’m the Endor Luke.

I watched an awesome blockbuster movie this week with great special effects that taught me to reverence the beauty of nature.
It was called “Jaws”.
Its the relatable story of a workaday shark just trying to get by in life who has to face down three antagonists representing the id, ego, and superego. The shark falls victim to a ‘home invasion’ by the three assassins but doesn’t back down–she fights back as any mother would. In the end, the shark protects her home and dignity as a suicide bomber with a high pressure diving tank held in her mouth. Though the shark doesn’t take Roy Schneider or that creepy guy from What About Bob with her, she has performed a righteous act of jihad and will be rewarded with seven buckets of chum.  
And I think that’s a message we can all feel good about this Earth Day.

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