Fox News ran a scientific poll* of true Americans asking what should be done about our nation’s war with foreign forces invading its precious and divinely unique soil**.
The answer came back unflinchingly:
88% said: “Yes – A portion of America has been surrendered to foreign forces, clear and simple. Send in REAL troops to secure the border, then work on reform.”

It is clear and simple that our beloved and innocent Land of Freedom has fallen to insidious forces whose origins and agendas we can only begin to guess. Whether you choose to call them Illegals or Satan’s Minions, you can rest assured that they have made America surrender a portion of her sweet Lady of Liberty Parts***.

Their Secret Army is everywhere and cleverly disguised. Take Sargeant Moreno of the Fresno Police Department for example.
“My parents immigrated to Texas in 1961 and worked near El Paso where I was born. And I got a job working with the police force in Los Angeles and moved to Fresno in 2002.”
What this so-called police officer fails to mention is that his parents are undocumented. Another portion of America sullied and lost to the Enemy.

Or take Dolores Jiminez of Wichita Kansas, 57 year old grandmother of two: Enemy.

Their forces are all around us: working with us, living next door, drinking beer with you, loaning you their ladders and helping you clean your gutters. They are earning your trust–but why? To befriend you and make you feel like a complete and total asshole for once hating them.

I wish I could say there was an easy solution, but in fact there is a complex two-part solution.
1) A Huge Wall. Get the plans from Berlin or Palestine or the Maginot Line and begin a wall to rival that of The Great Wall of China. Think of the possibilities! Even if it doesn’t work, thousands of years from now, people can come look at it and think of the brutish fear and failed strategies that fueled it.
2) Launch a Full Scale Deployment of the Army, Navy, Marines, and Air Force to the Nation’s ‘Other War’. Its time to stop fooling around and get to brass tacks. I say we draft up some teens, arm ’em with drones and Cobra helicopters and wait for the dust to settle in say 10 or 15 years.

Of course, maybe I’m over-reacting. But if I’m to believe Fox News, 88% of True American Patriots are with me on this. Let’s do it America. Let’s be great again. You know, like when we interned Japanese.

*the poll is not scientific
**God bless America
***Those were reserved for Jesus