Two actors seated in mall cafeteria or ‘food court’

1: The sale at Macy’s was amazing!
2: You’re telling me! I think I have my complete polo season wardrobe.
1: You’re gonna look fantastic out on the greens. Put a mint julep in you and you’re gonna be hit!
2: I do need a little bit of something to loosen up. I can’t help it! The only conversations going on are ‘should we vacation in St. Bart’s this year or Genoa?’
1: How are those two places even in the running together? Its like suntan or salami: apples and oranges.
2: Stop it! You’re making me hungry.
1: I’m dying of hunger myself over here. Famished!
2: Let’s take a look and see what’s on the menu today shall we?
1: Best. Idea. Ever. (they begin to walk slowly past the various kiosks and food vendors)
2: Its not that I even like to drink all that much. I just like a social lubricant once in a while, you know?
1: God, its not like you’ve had an intervention yet, have you?
2: Twice. No more. That I remember, anyway.
1: Alright then.
2: Its just that last week all I wanted to do was talk about my vacation to Cleveland and everyone else seemed to breeze right past the topic and gushed about this tres chic salami butcher in Genoa.
1: He is great, by the way. He catered Nathan’s bar mitzvah. Deer salami all day long. I didn’t even know deer is kosher! My god, I’m sorry Bambi, but I’m gonna drizzle you with a mushroom sauce.
2: Ahh! I’m so hungry!
1: I’m famished over here.
2: There’s nothing here to eat I swear there just isn’t. There just isn’t.
1: Pizza…Orange Julius…Cinnabon…
2: I had Cinnabon for breakfast.
1: Me too.
2: I just don’t know what there is here for me.
1: Me neither.
2: Whatever. I’m on a diet anyway.
1: Me too.
2: And it shows! You’re glowing. (The two sit again at their chairs)
1: Oh my god. Don’t look. Everytime I come to this mall. Everytime.
2: What?
1: I always end up running into someone I know. And I always look horrible.
2: Oh come on,
1: I’m totally not put together…my hair.
2: Who is it?
1: My serial stabber. Don’t look. He hasn’t seen me yet.
2: Embarrassing! Is he with anyone?
1: Not yet. He’s just sitting down enjoying a Cinnabon.
2: Ahh! I’m so hungry.
1: I’m gonna have to stop coming to this mall. That’s it.
2: Excuse me? We’ve been coming to this mall every day for the last fifteen years. This is our mall.
1: I just hope he isn’t like following me or something. My liver is still recuperating.
2: A person’s liver is important! You deserve better than a stab to the liver.
1: Three stabs!
2: I just don’t see why the police can’t catch that guy. I just don’t.
1: He has a very difficult face to describe to the police sketch artist.
2: Oh please let me look!
1: Okay, but quick.
2: (Looks) Oh yeah. I see what you mean!
1: Its like he’s got the most nondescript face I’ve ever seen.
2: Its like staring into the abyss.
1: His face is like a ’93 Ford Taurus.
2: Yet he somehow looks like everyone I know.
1 and 2: Nixon!
2: Weird.
1: God. I know.
2: Its a face I’d love to paint, actually.
1: Believe me, I’d love to too. But just try to get him to sit still! Its always ‘stab you this’ and ‘stab you that’ with him.
2: I’ve really got to introduce you to my serial strangler.
1: Pencil me in. Let’s do a lunch date. I’m telling you. I’m ready for a change. God.
2: You wanna meet here tomorrow at the regular time? I’ll have him swing by, throttle the two of us a bit and just see what you think?
1: Sure–we’ll call it a lunch but I don’t know if I’ll be eating.
2: Oh I won’t be. I’m on a diet.
1: Oh, good! He’s leaving. Whew. God, you want to get out of this place?
2: Sure. I’m just going to stop by Cinnabon for some rolls to go.
1: Yeah, me too.

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