unless your baby is a zombie
or you’re parenting a tiger toddler hybrid
don’t feed your infant raw hamhocks.

don’t expect tax return checks
to come to buy new sex toys
if you never filed taxes to begin with.

prevention’s the best cure
so if you come down with a headcold
timetravel to give yourself a scarf.

a stitch in time saves nine
and Margeret Cho keeps you in stitches
so your best bet is to laugh if you’re naked and late.

there are some that measure time in hours
the simple practitioner measures in overtime
hours that will pay off her daughter’s braces.