EGG HARBOR TOWNSHIP, NEW JERSEY–Time/Space Continuum travelling enthusiasts were given reason to celebrate this week when famed wormhole explorer D.B. Cooper was sighted over a New Jersey strip mall.

“This has reignited interest in Cooper’s work and we are confident that Mr. Cooper made this appearance to garner attention to our upcoming TARDIS race.” Said Eunice Macklethwait III, president of the London based Quantum Travelling Club.


D.B. Cooper, last seen falling from the sky over rural Pakistan in 2005, completed his fifty seventh midair appearance at 3:20pm Tuesday, September 14. Many are saying it was his best. 

Lionel Musgrave II, a longtime D.B. Cooper fan excitedly took readings of anti-matter and sampled ectoplasm near the Egg Harbor site. “This was great. A very understated and subtle free fall. It is a testament to his growth as not only a time/space traveler, but as an artist.”

Musgrave has been witness to several Cooper Falls.

“I was there for St. Petersburg in 2001. I was there for the ’94 Antartica fall. I have got to say that Egg Harbor, while off the beaten path, is a great choice. An inspired choice. Have you tried the Italian food around here? To die for.”

Cooper’s journey began November 24th 1971 when he jumped from the back of a commercial airliner to explore a Time Rift. Many shamans and physicists agree that unknown to Cooper, the rift had become corrupted in part by mysterious rays from Mars and the nightmares of children. It is widely speculated that Cooper then would have faced the judgment of Time Lord Xazthus, Sovereign Ruler of Sector 2814.

In the text considered authoritative on Cooper’s travels, Fall From Grace,  author Dr. Victor Maze writes:
“After facing Xazthus and having his soul weighed and found wanting, Cooper was condemned to ever fall through open space and infinite time.”

Spectators in Egg Harbor remain gathered near the strip mall, days after the sighting, with high hopes for another glimpse at the world’s most handsome and damned time traveler.