This past week an event largely expected to have a semblance of class and shared enjoyment was turned into a one-woman ego explosion as Anne Hathaway chewed the scenery at a twelve year old’s birthday party.

Justin Uris’ parents had asked Hathaway to emcee his birthday with the best intentions but watched in horror as Hathaway stole the party from under the pimply visage of their son.

Said Justin, “She came out to the patio with her hands on her cheeks in this ‘Home Alone’ pose or something and right away I knew my party would never be as cool as Sheldon’s party when he got a Wii.”

Reports from Justin’s tween-aged peers suggest that Hathaway came across as either “a phony ass”, “a punk”, or “an ass kissing phony ass punk.”

Video of the party from several iPhones show Hathaway breaking into a bizarre ballad to Hugh Jackman, who is also seen to be weakly smiling through his horror.

“I wanted a birthday party,” Said a teary eyed Justin “but instead I got Anne Hathaway’s imitation of a vacuous grinning idiot zombie’s debutante ball. I hate Anne Hathaway.”

“So do I.” Chimed in a barely conscious James Franco.

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